Sight
by thekatthatbarks
Summary: Kakashi tells Sakura his fears about going blind.


Kakashi and Sakura were lying in a field of flowers, bright colors and beautiful shapes surrounding them. She'd taken to a habit of bringing him there when she could since he started to lose his eyesight. He knew she felt guilt she didn't deserve because she couldn't stop him from going blind. So, she tried to get him to see everything she thought he'd want to before his eyesight was gone for good. Even though he had only had the sharringan in one eye, he figured it was an effect for having it for so long. Maybe it was karma for using something that hadn't even belonged to him.

Even with the threat of blindness looming over him, he felt content with his loving wife lying against him. As long as she was always there, he didn't care if he went blind. He was a shinobi and even though since he'd left the Hokage seat he hadn't been on too many missions, he could easily live with his other senses. He still had his incredible sense of hearing and smell and he was sure not much would change when his sight finally left him.

Sakura sighed beside him, her pink hair picking up with the light breeze. She told him in a dreamy voice, "Tell me a secret."

"Mah, you already know all my secrets." He chuckled and kissed the top of her head. It was true, there was rarely anything he kept from Sakura.

"Are you sure? There's not anything new?" she pressed on.

She was probably angling for something about how he felt about losing his eyesight. They hadn't talked about it much, just her apologies and his assurances that he didn't resent her one bit. He couldn't blame her for things she couldn't possibly do. He wished she would get over her guilt about not being able to fix something that no one could.

He sighed and admitted the only fear he'd had about being blind. "I'm afraid one day I'll forget what you look like."

Sakura went still against him and then lifted her head off his chest to look at him. Even now, she was out of focus. He could barely make out the shapes and colors of her. His memory was the only thing that let him fill in the blurry spots. He didn't ever want to forget the loving smile she gave him, the green of her eyes, the ridiculous pink of her hair, the curves of her body.

"Kakashi, we've been together for fifteen years. I don't think you'll forget." She tried to comfort him, her hand coming up to cup his cheek.

"But you don't know that. It's easy to forget faces, especially when you can't look at reminders like pictures or children. The longer I'll go without looking at you, the more I'll forget the curve of your smile. There won't be any reminders for me, just a dark and blurred memory that will eventually fade away." He didn't want to upset her by telling her all this, but it had been plaguing his mind so much lately he had to. He didn't even venture the thought of forgetting what his children looked like. Those were even worse thoughts, because they'll change as they grow older and he won't even realize it.

Sakura pecked him on the lips and crossed her arms on his chest, then rested her head on them as she gazed at him. "Don't be so pessimistic," she chided him softly. "There's other ways to jog your memory, Kashi." She reached for one of his hands and brought it to her face. "Just close your eyes and run your fingers over me. You'll be able to feel the dips and curves of my skin."

He did so, letting his fingers trace along the lines of her face. Down her nose and over cheeks to her plump lips that stretched into a smile when he touched them. "You'll still hear my voice, my whispers and moans. The way I laugh when you tease me. I'll always make sure you can hear me reminding you how much I love you." He smiled in return and let his hands travel down her neck and sides to the curves of her waist. He sighed in contentment as dozens of memories flashed through his mind from the feel of her skin against him.

"Mah, I suppose you're right," he admitted and could tell she was smirking when she pressed her smile against his lips. Another nagging fear crept up on him, though, and he said, "But what about our children? I may be able to latch on to the memories of what they look like now, but they'll change before my very eyes and I won't even notice."

Sakura sighed. That solution wasn't as easily found. "You may not be able to watch them grow up the way I will, but you'll still _be_ there with them. Does seeing them really matter that much in the end? You'll still be able to hear their voices and hug them. You can still train with them and eat with them. You'll be able to smell the salt in their tears and their laughter will ring in your ears. Nothing will change, Kakashi. Not really."

Kakashi pulled her closer to him, holding her tightly. He kissed her cheek and told her with a shaky voice, "I love you."

"I love you, too." She pulled down his mask to give him a real kiss and promised, "We'll get through this together, learn and adjust together. I won't ever leave your side."

Like he'd always thought, he really could get through anything with her. This wouldn't be any different.


End file.
